Here's my PS. Looking for feedback. Thanks.

[yesIMbob]

Here is my first draft.   Looking to see if it flows well and if it properly answers the prompt.  As much feedback as possible is greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

 

 

 

“Help! HELP! My brain is about to explode! I’m having a stroke or a heart attack or an aneurysm and my back and my stomach hurt so bad and I can’t feel my feet! Oh, I can’t even stand still I’m in so much pain!  Why doesn’t anybody do something?”  Here I am in a crowded downtown ER watching this patient rile up the waiting room exclaiming she is having every medical emergency known to man.  I take a deep breath, stand up from my chair, and approach her: “Ma’am, I need you to stay calm and seated.  We are very busy right now and when a spot opens up, I will take you back.”  She peers up at me crookedly and says: “Okay, and make sure you tell the doctor I need dilaudid.  That morphine stuff doesn’t do anything for me.”  With a feigned smile I nod and head back to my desk.  The front door then slides open and stumbling in comes Mr. X.  We all know Mr. X, a man who has lived on the streets for most of his years and whose odor matches his appearance.  I cordially greet him, “Hey Mr. X, what brings you in today?”  Behind worn out eyes he looks at me and says, “Son, I don’t feel good.  My chest hurts.”  I take him back to perform an ECG and my eyes open wide.  He is having a STEMI. It is time to move.

 

I love working in the medical field.  At no other job have I ever felt the same sense of satisfaction and accomplishment as I do than in healthcare.  Challenges are always present as well are the opportunities to learn and grow from them.  The combination of patient experiences and collaborative efforts of the medical team cultivate an environment that is demanding yet rewarding.  These are reasons why I aspire to become a physician assistant.  The scene from above is a testament to these statements.  Qualities of an effective health care provider are attributed to having a keen sense of awareness and intuition.  The ability to not only interpret surface complaints of the patient but to also construct a deeper holistic view of the individual leads to efficient management of each case.  Applying an extensive list of medical knowledge along with good judgment ultimately results in better care of the patient. 

 

So, why do I want to be a physician assistant?  If I were asked what is the most interesting thing in the world, my reply would simply be: people.  People are exceptionally complex in both body and mind.  The human condition is one that is highly resilient and yet fragile at the same time.  As a physician assistant, I feel strongly that I would be able to practice in a field that I am passionate about and deliver excellent care to any patient that comes through the door.  My passion is drawn from a culmination of everyday experiences. Experiences that vary from patient encounters at work, studies in life sciences, and simply interactions with the people around me.   People and medicine are continuously evolving at rapid rates and it takes a mass level of devotion to keep up with both.  This is why I want to be a medical provider and why I feel that my past experiences have prepared me well for this role. 

 

Looking back, my journey to becoming a physician assistant has truly been humbling.  When I first enrolled in college with the goal of medicine in mind, I was eager to learn and overconfident in my abilities.   With few responsibilities outside of the classroom, I was naive and arrogant thinking becoming a physician assistant would be an easy process.  I had never expected to start a family before finishing college.  One day I met a wonderful young woman and quickly fell in love with her and her two children.  Shortly thereafter, a surprise announced the coming of a new life into this world.  My daughter was soon born  and I found myself embracing my role as a father.  Being a husband and father has taught me the virtues of patience, compassion, and understanding.  At a young age my daughter was diagnosed with autism.  Managing her condition has not been an easy task.  The extensive hours devoted towards therapy as well as the emotional strain attached to it all has truly been a trying experience.  To better manage our family, my wife decided to stay home while I procured a second job.  I found myself over the next several years working forty to sixty hours a week, taking care of my family, and still attending college full time.  Despite fighting what felt like a chronic state of exhaustion, I never lost sight of my goals nor my responsibilities to my family. 

 

The past several years have been difficult and I have never worked harder in my entire life.  I feel my drive and passion for medicine along with my past experiences have prepared me for the rigors of physician assistant school as well as for the profession itself.   If there is to be a silver lining to my journey, then it will be that my years of hard work and dedication will have paid off and that I, someday, will hold the title of physician assistant.    

[Rpent4]

Great PS! Really impressive. Good luck!

[camha92]

Good job! working 60 hrs a wk, taking 4 classes, and having a family-that type of work ethics is admirable. I would take off all the "i feel" or "i feel strongly.." statements-it will exert more confidence this way. 

[cordelia*8]

Don't assume all your readers will know what a STEMI is.  There are several split infinitives.  Telling the story is the testament, you don't need to restate the fact. There are no absolutes, and it comes off as arrogant to say you'll give excellent care to every patient--you're human, you'll make mistakes sometimes.

"My passion is drawn from a culmination of everyday experiences that vary from patient encounters at work, studies in life sciences, and simple interactions with the people around me."

[Szen]

This PS is solid and great. However, I still feel as though it isn't specific enough to why PA over any other healthcare provider role. Is it the leadership that you desire? The higher scope of practice from what you currently do? You make a lot of statements about why you want to be a PA but none of the reasons you have stated have yet to convince me of your genuine passion for the PA career in particular.You also haven't explained what role you currently hold in healthcare, which makes it hard for anyone to relate (especially since the admissions staff will be those with various healthcare backgrounds...and you never know which one your essay will sync with).

 

Last but not least, I think you should minimize your family references a bit. The experience of raising your autistic daughter can be utilized towards your passion if you'd like, but I don't think you meeting your wife etc needs to be in there. Just say that you began a family and cut down to the idea of how you successfully have managed to make this dream happen despite your daily struggles.

 

Best of luck with your application.