Need some feedback, please.

[camha92]

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[fishbum]

You've made it clear that you see patients as people to be appreciated rather than diagnoses to be managed. That's very good. To me, however, the first two paragraphs make it sound like you've got an unhealthy attachment to patients. I don't really see the fact that a patient's death lingered in your mind for days is a positive thing. Moreover, I'm not sure those paragraphs really answer the question why you want to be a PA.

 

Your third paragraph starts by saying that events in your childhood spurred your desire to be a PA, but the paragraph that follows doesn't really bear that out. It shows that you know how to overcome, but doesn't really explain why you want to practice medicine. 

 

I think it's good that you mention exploring several healthcare careers in your fourth paragraph. That indicates some education behind your decision to be a PA. I also think it's good that you mention your volunteer work. The end of that paragraph reads like a brochure on why being a PA is a great career but doesn't explain why it's important to you. 

 

Your fifth paragraph pretty well demonstrates some understanding of the modern practice of medicine. That's good.

 

For some reason, this leaves me with the impression that you're trying to get into nursing school rather than PA school.

 

Just my $.02, for what it's worth.

[camha92]

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[JohnnyM2]

Sorry I don't have time to give you full feedback but this is generally a good PS. The best thing is that it doesn't start out like a cheap novel. I would replace " inconceivably difficult" with "incredibly or indescribably difficult." Change "forging a barrier" to "erecting a barrier"

 

Sent from my KFAPWI using Tapatalk

 

 

[camha92]

Thanks buddy, i appreciate the feedback, even if it's short.