Very first rough draft, opinions and criticism greatly appreciated!

[cdiedrich]

“Chandler, your father has been in an accident and we are not sure if he is going to make it.” At the age of 14 those are the last words you want to hear. My father worked as a contractor and was on the roof of a building when a crane sent him plummeting to the ground. Luckily for my family, my father survived and was able to eventually go back to work as a contractor, but that would not have been the case without the work of the amazing health care providers that worked with my dad day in and day out and helped me find my way into what I did not know at the time, would spark my interest in medicine and help me find my future passion.  

 

             One clinician in particular may have been the sole reason I chose to dig deeper in to the medical field and choose my future calling as a Physician Assistant. Carrie was a PA who worked in the Emergency Department of the hospital my father was sent to the day of his accident. Carrie was not assigned to help patients in the Intensive Care Unit but when she heard the miracle story of my father she soon wanted to help in whatever way she could. She would come in every morning to check on him, as well as the rest of my family. She would bring my mother coffee because she knew she had been up all night worrying about whether my dad would open his eyes in the morning. She would comfort my brothers and I, saying all the right things to make us feel security and optimism in a time of utter devastation. She would come in and change my father’s positioning and medications in his IV. Despite Carrie’s hectic schedule, she always found a way to brighten our days and I soon looked to her as my role model. I wanted to do what she did. I wanted to address patients with professionalism and knowledge, yet ease their minds in times of havoc and be their safe haven. I found out later that she was a physician assistant and when my father finally woke up and began his yearlong journey back to normalcy, I began dedicating all my time into finding my purpose in life and deciding that caring for others and helping those in need, specifically becoming a PA, was what I was meant to do.

 

 

            During that hard time, my mother taught my brothers and I that “quitting” was not in our vocabulary and that every obstacle in life had a purpose. Dedicating all of high school and college to studying to ensure I received the grades that were necessary for PA school, it was junior year of college when I realized I could do so much more to help others, even if it was just a few hours each week. I started work as a CNA in a center for children and young adults with cerebral palsy and other disabilities. I quickly learned that these individuals truly believed they were the lucky ones and always had an aura and glow that radiated to everyone that surrounded them, despite the difficulties they had to overcome daily. Working with these individuals gave me a sense of purpose and even more motivation to continue working towards my goal of becoming a PA so that I could provide comfort and quality care to those who were underprivileged.

 

 

            Seeking to immerse myself into a more medically related vocation, I found myself working as a CNA in a dermatology office. I worked with numerous patients with different backgrounds, physicians, medical assistants, and physician assistants. The kind of “dynamic duo” team that the physician and physician assistant displayed was something I looked up to. They provided a trusting and honest relationship that I admired and wanted to be able to have in the future with a physician. The PAs did not need the credentials the doctor had, they provided high quality care and comfort and their attention was always on the one patient that they were caring for. They were kindhearted and truly cared about their patients and their patients’ families, but also commanded a respect that everyone in the office, including myself, wanted to mirror. Being able to experience and visualize not only the way the PAs interacted with their patients, but also the way they served their physicians as well as other medical personnel in the office, validated that this was the profession I was meant to be a part of and why becoming a physician assistant was so worthwhile to me.  

 

            Becoming a part of health care and finding my purpose by serving others by becoming a physician assistant has always been my goal. Being passionate and striving to work hard in every position I have held, whether it be student, volunteer, or CNA, are qualities that have led me to where I am today. The road has not been easy, and there have been many hardships I have had to overcome, but with my passion and love for medicine and assisting others, I have persevered and created the path I want my life to take. Working hard as a team and knowing quitting is never an option are characteristics that I uphold and value. Having the chance and the honor to become a PA is something I have imagined for many years and given the opportunity, I am confident I can overcome the obstacles and challenges that lie ahead. 

[Zanna]

I really like the your intro story! I'm very glad to hear your father has recovered. There are a number of grammatical errors in sentence structure or just oddly phrased sentences. Not a big deal, just nit picky stuff. The only recommendation I have is that I felt like you need something explaining you and your own attributes. You hold the PA profession in very high esteem and that is a great thing. But, I feel you need to show that you would fit the criteria to become one a bit better. Maybe elaborate more on your time helping children with CP? Show how you gained an emotional attachment to them and how important helping these kids was to you. I realize it's very difficult to do considering you are already over the 5000 limit.  Overall, great essay. Good Luck!