Personal Statement Rough Draft

[Haleyash]

Hi everyone,

 

I've been going back and forth with this personal statement for months now and I would love to get some honest feedback. I have an idea of what I want my personal statement to portray but I'm not sure if my point is coming across clearly. I know I still need to incorporate a few personal examples to support the points I make in my paragraphs, but if you could critique what I have so far I would so be appreciative!

 

Thank you!

 

 

     While my classmates poked and prodded their new interactive study guide, my eye caught sight of a tattoo on the man's forearm, which read "Rita" in faded script. I began to envision a love story worthy of a Nicholas Sparks novel. As each layer of the man's body was dissected, a portrait of his life came into focus. Although it is nearly impossible to assess someone's personality from their physical remains, I used the clues of his calloused hands, enlarged heart, and stiffened arteries to visualize a resilient, hard-working man. In the one semester that I was able to spend with his formaldehyde-soaked remains, he and I had forged a bond. On the final day of class, the pride I had in my detective work was overshadowed by the contempt I felt knowing that I could do nothing to help my new confidante. Any skepticism I held about my ability to succeed as a Physician Assistant (PA) was disintegrated during that semester of gross anatomy.

 

     It may be cliche to say my decision to become a PA is rooted in my desire to help people, however, it is this aspect of healthcare that attracts me the most. The human body will always fascinate me but ultimately, I want to work with the living: people that I can still be of use to. My experience in the cadaver lab opened my eyes to how the body can fail, but I craved the interaction with patients and families that I continue to indulge in every day at work. As a PA, I will be able to make an impact on the living while still utilizing the scientific knowledge I have worked hard to obtain.

 

Serving as a Dean's host, I've often been told I have a knack for advising others. While the thought has crossed my mind to pursue a career in education, social work, or nursing, I am always averted by the same realization. While those field afford a satisfying career with ample opportunity to help people, none of them afford me the ability to intervene medically. A career as a PA affords me the flexibility to wear these many different hats of social worker, educator, and caretaker, while still bestowing the privilege of making authoritative medical decisions.

 

     My proudest moments in my personal and professional experiences have been when others have chosen to confide in me as a listener and a resource in helping them solve a personal or medical problem. Whether the task is answering my roommates' questions about birth control, or explaining the role of hospice care to a patient's family, their confidence and trust in me affirms that I have the bedside manner needed to serve as an educator and a role model to my future patients.

 

     My motivation to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant is driven by the knowledge of a PA's role; one that I have always envisioned for myslef. Somewhere between the exposure to doctors and working with nurses, I realized that I wanted the best of both worlds. From shadowing several PA's across different specialties, it has become clear to me that this career does just that. The PA has the flexibility to spend time with the patient, essential for building mutual trust and respect. The PA can then fulfill the authoritative role of a doctor, which is often comforting to patients, knowing their wishes will be carried out directly by the person they have confided in, rather than being relayed to a clinician they have yet to meet.

 

[Guest PALois]

Hi,

 

     Here is my personal advice regarding your personal statement – I hope you find it helpful!

 

     Firstly, you asked that you wanted to know how your essay comes across. I appreciate the attempted effort you tried to show in your interest in the PA profession; however, I think if I had to choose one of the biggest mistakes of personal statement writing for people, it would be that they say the reason they want to be a PA is because “they love the human body”, or “it’s interesting”, or “science has always fascinated me.” The purpose of the essay is to not tell the admissions committee how much you love the human body or science or any subject – they already know that are interested in it since you are applying to be a healthcare provider. Why would someone take all these sciences classes and pursue a career in medicine if they were not interested?  

 

     The CASPA application is the place where the admissions committee can see your intellectual abilities, and what subjects you liked based on the classes you took/major or minor and so on. What they WANT to know on your personal statement is about you as a PERSON. They want to know your personal experiences such as volunteer, HCE, interactions with patients. What did you do? Learn? Like? They want to get to know you better – make connections, give details, make it personal, give insight on who you are. This is why it’s called a personal statement. They want to know you on a personal level. Just because someone shows they love a subject – it does mean they will be a good provider. This is your chance to show the admission committee about you and why you would make a good provider. What can you provide to the profession? Explain why you have the desire to enter this certain field of medicine – why PA and not MD, NP? What have you done or will do to prepare you for PA school?

 

     Ultimately, remember that no matter how many hours of HCE or volunteer, or experiences/qualities you have inputted on your application, it is just a mere number to the admissions committee if they don’t know the story and meaning behind it. My main advice is to not make the theme of your essay based on your scientific knowledge and the love it – but rather make the theme of your essay about you as a person. Again remember, they can already see all your knowledge of science on your CASPA application.