PA Personal Statement HELP!!!

[bsturr19]

Hey everyone. First time applicant here, and I'm looking for any insight on a great personal statement essay. I have pretty thick skin, so don't worry about harsh criticism. Thanks!

 

 

 

Knocked out teeth, separated shoulder, sprained wrist, broken nose, countless stitches, multiple hip surgeries, sprained knee, broken fingers, and concussions are all injuries I have endured throughout my hockey career. It is true to say that hockey players are some of the toughest on the planet. But, one thing that can knock anyone to his or her knees, including a hockey player, is a six-letter word no one wants to hear, CANCER.

 

It was Thanksgiving morning when my mom sat us down and informed us of the horrific news.  Shock was the first feeling that set in. At times like these, a million questions race through one’s mind. Exactly three months after losing my grandfather to a massive bilateral stroke, my mom was diagnosed with stage-four colon cancer.

 

Medicine, and life in general, can test a person’s character, mental and physical stamina, and determination. Medical circumstances such as these may test a person’s resiliency, but these life-changing events serve as motivating factors in my journey to become a compassionate physician assistant (PA).

 

It was with a heavy heart as I walked into work in the intensive care unit the following morning after my mom was diagnosed. A million questions and scenarios raced through my mind about what was going to happen, what we were going to do, and most of all, how my mom was going to respond, and most of all, what could I do to help. Battles such as these are there to test those who were meant to be in medicine. Knowing my job was filled with caring for critically ill patients, I made it my goal to treat and care for each patient with optimism and excellence.  It was the same lens my mother viewed her cancer battle through.

 

The PA profession and their relationship with the physicians are very transparent in the ICU where I work. On a daily basis, I witness patients with critical and terminal illnesses, such as patients with intracranial pressure monitors, those that are on life-saving ventilators, and some even with colon cancer.

 

It was a cold night in December when I cared for my first patient with colon cancer. In bed eight was a sweet old lady with colon cancer that had metastasized to various organs throughout her body. I walked in and greeted her with a friendly smile and said, “Hi, my name is Brendan, what can I help you with?” She smiled and asked for some help to turn in bed to see the TV so she could watch the hockey game. She mentioned that she was extremely sore all throughout her body and very weak. After I turned her, she grabbed my hand and said with a smile, “Thank you so much for all of your help.” It immediately sent chills down my spine. Chemo had sucked the physical strength from this woman, but she would not be mentally drained from the medicine. After all, she had a hockey player’s fight in her.

 

It was at this moment when the internal medicine PA, whom had been overseeing her ICU stay, entered and discussed her care at the bedside. I overheard some of the conversation while I ensured the patient was comfortable. As I saw the patient with a slight smile on her face, I realized it was the compassionate care of this PA that made her feel at ease. At this moment I had a personal connection to my mother, and I felt the need to help. As the PA walked out, I followed and inquired about the care of this patient, trying to draw any connections I could with my mother.

 

Two days later, five minutes after clocking in for my shift, the code blue call went off. It was bed eight and that same PA was the first person on the scene giving chest compressions. I felt absolutely helpless as I ran to grab the crash cart. PAs, nurses, and physicians came from all over to save this woman’s life. After rounds of cardiopulmonary resuscitation and a shock from an AED, she returned to normal sinus rhythm.

 

Every day, life will present challenges. People will battle for their lives, and as they do, PAs and other members of the healthcare team will be right by their side to help them in the fight. As my mom battles cancer, she greets each day with a smile, positive outlook, and resiliency. Although she has endured more pain in the past six months than all of my 20 years of competitive hockey, she continues to embrace the challenges at hand and looks forward to beating cancer. This inspiration and outlook on life is something I look to translate to my career as a PA. All of the stitches, broken bones and surgeries have created a great deal of toughness. But, it is my mother’s battle with cancer and the sense of joy and optimism I apply at work everyday that drives my fight to become a PA. 

 

[SoCalPA]

This a great statement.  I can tell it's not the first draft!!

 

I like that you open by making a personal connection. When you share your experience at work it highlights your health care experience and shows that you know exactly what a PA is capable of doing.  It states why you want to be a PA.  

 

The only thing I can think to suggest is that you should mention whether you have talked to the PAs at work about they job.  I am sure you have. 

 

Perhaps someone else will have feedback.  I wish you the best of luck!!!

[roseline86]

Great personal statement. I love it

[DiggySRNA]

+10 kudos for you. 

 

I enjoyed reading it because it has a personal touch to it. 

[mm2124]

On the 6th paragraph, I would clarify what your position was that you were caring for the patient. where you a volunteer? a CNA? phlebotomist? I think its important for admissions people to know what training you have had prior to applying to PA school 

I would also suggest condensing some of the paragraphs. There seems to be too many paragraphs when reading it over, and even one paragraph only has 2 sentences in it (you need 3 or more)

I like that you have a personal story to this. I do feel it is attention grabbing.