First Draft! Please be Honest and helpful!

[cejones1993]

This is my first draft of my PS for CASPA, please provide your thoughts and please be honest and helpful. It is a few characters over the 5000 limit so it does need some shortening. Please provide your thoughts. Thank you in advance!

 

I was first introduced to the physician assistant profession in the waiting room of Banner Cordon Hospital when I was only thirteen. My great-grandmother, Kathryn, was currently being seen after she was found in her home struggling to move due to an immense pain in her abdomen. As I sat with my family, I experienced emotions that I never had to feel before, the fear of losing someone. As I sat without her in that waiting room, I never felt more alone. My great-grandmother had been someone that was always present in my life. The physician assistant that was in charge of her care came into the waiting room. She walked over and introduced herself (I will call her Emily), pulled up a chair, looked at us with a tone of sorrow in her voice and said, "I’m sorry, but it looks like Kathryn has something we call liver cirrhosis, and it is highly progressed.” She explained to us what causes this condition and what we were to expect in the coming days. She didn't act rushed and she made us feel like an important part of my great-grandmother’s case. Following that day, she was moved into hospice, as she was only given a couple of weeks. After her body began to further succumb to her condition, we decided it would be best to move her to her home so she could be comfortable in her final days. When relaying our decision to Emily, she gave us her personal number and told us to call the minute anything were to change. Two days later, after moving my great-grandmother back home, she stopped breathing. We then called Emily, after calling EMS, and rushed her to the ER. Emily met us at ambulance bay and helped rush her to a bed. An hour of grueling waiting passed by, and Emily came out to tell us that my great-grandmother had passed. Nearly ten years later since her passing, I look back and realize that Emily's dedication to her patients and caring demeanor are traits that first drew me to the fulfilling profession of a physician assistant.
 

During my time at Arizona State University, while working towards my BS in biological sciences, I took a clinical research position in the behavioral sciences department. In this position, I was able to spend working with overweight students to help develop a plan for obesity prevention. One of my goals was to use nutrition and exercise with many other factors like sleep, to aide these students in obtaining and living healthier lives. The study was quite successful with many of the students losing more than 20 pounds following the 6 weeks of the study. I was first drawn to this position, because the study didn’t turn anyone away. As long as a patient meets the inclusion criteria for the study, they were allowed to enroll and begin to lead healthier lives. My students helped me realize what struggles many people go through to become better and made me yearn to continue helping others to strive towards a better life. By providing an additional source of care, PAs can help to reduce the amount of people that are unable to get help for their conditions. I strive to become part of this initiative and work as part of a team that provides exceptional and personalized care. 

 

I started working in the medical field during my senior year of college. I began working as an optometrist technician in a small practice. Nevertheless, I have learned quickly and was fascinated with the responsibility of “pre-testing” patients for the optometrist, such as measuring their visual fields and their intraocular pressures. I am currently still apart of this practice and have learned a lot about the medical field, however this was only a stepping stone to my sole passion. Towards the end of my senior year, I decided to start working as an Emergency Room medical scribe to gain as much exposure to the professions of PAs, MDs, Dos, and NPs. As a medical scribe, I gained additional patient care experience and an increased burn of passion to get into the medical field. Emergency medicine opened my eyes to the diversity of each situation, between each patient’s unique history and the steps taking for each and every treatment. Each patient I had the privilege of meeting with had distinct motivations to become better, and through varying levels of support each provider I worked with made it their goal to treat each patient to the highest of standards. Just as illness affects a patient's life, each patient's unique life story greatly influences his or her ability to overcome illness, and in the emergency room time also becomes a factor. Through my scribing experiences, I learned that the PAs I have worked alongside often have the time to get to know patients on the level that is necessary to take all of these factors into consideration even in the emergency room. This is not because Pas are less busy, or have more compassion than their counter-parts. Instead, the role of a PA often includes discussing treatment and educating the patient on what the next steps are in their healing process, seeing them as a person, not just a diagnosis. My motivation to become a PA has only enhanced itself by observing medical professionals. However, the PA profession complements my goal to become a healthcare provider who weighs all factors when assisting patients and ensuring that their families are included during all sections of their treatment.

I have always dreamed of having a career that is fulfilling and significant. My decision to pursue the PA profession is built upon a solid foundation of working alongside different healthcare professionals along with my college work. A career as a PA will allow me to use the strengths of my being to further make a difference in people’s lives and strive to give people a better, healthier, longer lasting life. 

 

Thank you in advance!

[DiggySRNA]

Hello!

 

First off, change the font size.

[cejones1993]

Hello!

 

First off, change the font size.

 

Sorry, It did that when I copy/pasted from my Word Doc, I made it a bit bigger with the editor, hopefully it will be easier to read

[DiggySRNA]

No need to apologize :P 

 

I did a quick skim (tired from studying micro all day) and I like it so far. Each paragraph is lengthy though, and can be cut down and made more concise. That way, you get to the point. Here's a tip, the max is 5000 characters but that doesn't mean to use it all.

 

It maybe hard but think of a patient who is memorable and talk about that using your ER scribe/Opt. Tech experience, that way you're painting a remarkable picture of your personality. 

 

Because your resume listed all you have done, no need to repeat it in the personal statement unless a story is behind it. 

 

You first draft is a lot better than mine when I just started (a little motivation for you :D).