REAPPLICANT Personal statement - please critique!

[mfd09009]

Any criticism, positive or negative is appreciated. Thanks!

 

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My pediatrician once told me that her Physician Assistants (PAs) were like her "wingmen".

 

This statement truly struck a chord with me because the PA profession was still a relatively new concept to me. The idea of being someone's "wingman" rang loud in my head. At first, I understood a wingman to be much like a sidekick and wondered `Why would anybody just want to be a wingman?'. The wingman follows direction and lets others take the lead. I was unsure how this term translated to the medical sphere, but I made it my goal to find out.

 

I shadowed a handful of PAs throughout multiple specialties however there was one PA on the Neurosurgery Team at Hartford Hospital that truly stood out in my mind. I witnessed him perform a ventriculostomy, which in itself was fascinating. However, equally remarkable was his confidence and impressive communication skills. He explained the procedure to me step-by-step and made my time with him a valuable learning experience. He also had tremendous leadership skills; it was evident that his coworkers had a great deal of respect for him. Lastly, he was extremely empathetic with the patient's family. I could tell that they truly appreciated the extra attention that he gave them and made them feel much more comfortable and relaxed. He did this all without the presence of a doctor or supervisor. He was independent and did not seem to play the role of a sidekick or a wingman. As cliché as it may sound, it was at this moment that I decided I wanted to become a PA.

 

I originally entered the University of Connecticut as a nursing major however, after my time with the PA at Hartford Hospital, I felt that the world of Physician Assisting is truly where I need to be. I am drawn to the flexibility associated with the profession. It is comforting to know that it is much easier to switch between specialties as a PA. I love the idea of potentially having the opportunity to become exposed to more than one area of medicine. In addition to and more importantly, I want to have the close patient interaction that nurses do but to also be able to play a larger, more autonomous role in the diagnostic portion of medicine. I read many Nancy Drew detective books as a child and see patient treatment as being comparable to solving a mystery. For example, a patient's signs and symptoms are like the clues one finds throughout a case. Once enough clues are found, one can hopefully draw a conclusion to solve the case and formulate a proper treatment and diagnosis for the patient.

 

I know that PA school is going to be a great challenge, so I make sure I work hard to get the grades and experiences necessary. I will admit that my sophomore year at UConn was a great struggle for me, which reflected in a few of my grades. I believe the transition from nursing school to a much more rigorous science-based workload was difficult, however after altering my study habits, I believe that I ultimately prevailed in the end. Now I continue to make a conscientious effort to accrue experiences that can positively shape my future career as a PA. I now currently work as a Patient Care Associate (PCA) at Hartford Hospital as well as a Neonatology Research Assistant at Connecticut Children's Medical Center.

 

My position as a PCA is heavily clinical-based and also grants me a great deal of autonomy. It teaches me not only how to obtain accurate vitals and reports, but to also properly attend to all sorts of patients. I am on the float pool and therefore have exposure to nearly every specialty in the hospital such as surgery, neurology, cardiology, emergency and internal medicine, and much more. As for my position as a research assistant, though not as hands-on or clinically driven as my job as a PCA, teaches me how to be accurate and diligent with my work. I work with several well-acclaimed healthcare researchers on four different projects and am truly learning the importance of communication and collaboration, which are crucial skills to have in the medical world. Although these positions are vastly different from one another, I believe that I can properly interweave all the skills and lessons I have learned and use them to enhance my role as a PA.

 

Although I know that there is still a plethora of information for me to learn, I am more than willing and excited to continue on with my journey to PA school. I want to be able to collaborate with my fellow nurses, doctors, and other healthcare providers, but still feel a sense of autonomy with my role. I would love nothing more than to do my best to communicate, heal, and positively impact my patients, and to hopefully be much more than just a somebody's "wingman".

[DiggySRNA]

Hello! 

 

This is a great start to writing a phenomenal personal statement.

 

A few things that struck me:

• Very very wordy.
• Your personal statement sounds like you're reciting your resume (stay away from this because it will be boring)
• A lot of space was spent talking about shadowing. Instead, use this to talk about your hands on clinical exposure (which you left for last). What in medicine that attracts you? What do you see in the PA profession that attracts?  What about caring for patients that makes you want to return?
• I know what you've done grade/research and volunteering/shadowing wise, but I know very little about you, your personality, your goals, etc.

 

What exactly are you trying to convey in the sentence below?

 

... I felt that the world of Physician Assisting ...

 

 

You want to make Adcom's life easy, not hard when they are reading your personal statement. Get to the point in your PS. What makes you unique and special over the next person? 

[charlotte]

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[paproof]

Not only can reviewing your resume in your narrative be boring, but it's also unnecessary.  You need to use the 5000 characters you have to tell your story someone CAN'T read in your resume.