nebero Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 1. If you stop by at Macdonalds on the way to to the ER and picked up a BigMac burger and large coke, you don't have an emergency. You guys do the remaining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator ventana Posted August 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2013 The cell phone call coming through when I am in the room is more important then talking with me....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator EMEDPA Posted August 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2013 the chief complaint starts with " for the last 5 years or so...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator LT_Oneal_PAC Posted August 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2013 The phrase "I read online that" is uttered in the interview. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armygrunt001 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I think I'm pregnant so I called 911.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SocialMedicine Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 anybody that says .. "I have chronic low blood sugar" "Penicillin does not work on me I am resistant" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmj11 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 They arrive via Segway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobuddy Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Your runny nose and sneezing started 4 hours ago. or If I have to ask you four times "what brings you in to see us TODAY" and I still have no clue why you are here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robambreII Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Three weeks ago I was referred to...but I don't have insurance so I didn't call Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robambreII Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I just moved here from out of town, I have all my prescriptions except this one that I can't remember the name of, but it starts with a "D" (delaudid) Can you give it to me as an IV, the pills don't work that good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medic25 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 "Since I'm already here, could you take a look at....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sk732 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Anything with a chief complaint begining with the words " I want..." or "I couldn't get in to see my doctor or the WIC so I came here for..." For any Canadians or Americans that understand, similar to the opening line, a positive Tim Horton's sign. Lastly, a positive suitcase sign. SK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebero Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 You accompanied someone to the ER and decided to check your self in while you at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uscbigdawg Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I had one person tell us that they were allergic to Benadryl and that it makes them sleepy. After about 15 seconds of internal hilarity, we continued screening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebero Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Your symptoms started before you went on a 10 days cruise and you didn't want to let the symptoms stop you from going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medic25 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Your symptoms started before you went on a 10 days cruise and you didn't want to let the symptoms stop you from going. Occasional exception to this one. I had to call back an older patient back to the ED last year when his blood cultures from a day before grew out gram negative rods. The poor guy was scheduled to leave the next day on a trip of a lifetime transatlantic voyage on the Queen Mary 2! I've never felt so bad telling someone that it would be a terrible idea to travel; he'd been planning the trip for years, but somehow the thought of gram negative sepsis being managed by the cruise doc didn't seem like a great idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joelseff Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 If you are allergic to Toradol... Sent from my myTouch_4G_Slide using Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PM2PA Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Positive Sampsonite sign upon inspection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebero Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Before coming to the ER, you spent an hour applying make up, remember to pick up your iPad and forgot your medication. You don't have an emergency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator EMEDPA Posted August 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2013 "the whole family was just in a minor fender bender in our range rover without vehicle damage but on advice of our lawyer all 9 of us are here to see if we have "whiplash" ". " we were told not to leave without mri's for all of us". (don't EVER use that term-whiplash...it's not a real dx, it's a legal phrase to incite juries to give big bucks to the plaintiff ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmj11 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 "the whole family was just in a minor fender bender in our range rover without vehicle damage but on advice of our lawyer all 9 of us are here to see if we have "whiplash" ". " we were told not to leave without mri's for all of us".(don't EVER use that term-whiplash...it's not a real dx, it's a legal phrase to incite juries to give big bucks to the plaintiff ). EMEDPA: speaking of, have you ever watched "Portlandia?"I watched my first 4 episodes at my sons. It could easily be San Juania. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAdamsPAC Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I need a note for school/work that I was sick last week! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobuddy Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 My actual patient 2 hours ago - "I have diarrhea every Tuesday......" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator True Anomaly Posted August 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2013 My actual patient 2 hours ago - "I have diarrhea every Tuesday......" In all fairness, Tuesday is a pretty crappy day :=-0: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator EMEDPA Posted August 21, 2013 Moderator Share Posted August 21, 2013 EMEDPA: speaking of, have you ever watched "Portlandia?"I watched my first 4 episodes at my sons. It could easily be San Juania. yup, sadly mostly true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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